

But the absolute most creative death is-.no. The hand belongs to one of a few mutilated paint ball gamers, who seem to have forgotten the lesson learned in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives – ‘don’t go paint balling in the woods!’ People are impaled on multiple pick axes, and once, a double impalement on a pick axe, which is already infixed in a tree! Some others are stabbed, two are hung high in a tree, and one girl is turned into a bloody doll, attaching only her head, hands and feet together. The body count is over a dozen, including one cute white dog who gets stomped on (!) when he finds a hand in the forest. She’s the hottest of the females at first, but her obnoxious bitch attitude makes Kate shine like a star, which is for the best. The same can almost be said for the slightly more enjoyable, but still slutty, Vicky. He may not be the ideal boy next door like Riff, but in many ways, he’s much sexier and easier to relate to, unless you’re a cheating good-for-nothing prick like Artie Baxter’s character. Zack is the most likable character, with his druggy voice, charisma, and as we soon see, his love for Kate. Trust me, they won’t have trouble finding new fish in times of crisis. Ashley lets it slip to Kate, and Riff’s relationship plummets from the heavens. The couple is interrupted when walkman-listening Ashley jogs by and spots them making out. Anyways, want to hear the latest gossip? Apparently, Riff and Vicky are having a fling together behind Kate’s back. I guess the director was wise enough to decide that these adults could not attempt to pass for high school students, and went on to the higher secondary education. But he finds many other ways to off his opponents, which I will get to soon, because we cannot go further without mentioning college drama. Well, what can we say? The man loves his pick axes. Simon’s killing contraptions include a pick axe throwing machine and a spinning giant cylinder with pick axes attached. The night, for a major change, is foggy, grim, and sadly, feels like a set.

The setting and atmosphere of the forest is beautiful in the daytime, green, natural, and calm. If that’s not a dead giveaway that you should turn your brain off, I don’t know what is. But both always remind their victims when in a confrontation that they forget to say “Simon Says”. Stanley/Simon is a funny character, one with a southern accent, the other with a mental disability. The kills in Simon Says are absolutely ridiculous comic book fun, and the CGI doesn’t hurt the film when considering the wacky tone it has set for itself. You know she’s going to get it, but how she dies is something you may not have expected to see. She’s a whiner, and appears to be ‘too good’ for this crowd. Ashley is the goody-goody girl, who may have had the chance to survive when the slasher genre was first taking its baby steps, but in the modern age, this certainly won’t do. A pack of caring main characters also help this gorefest to be more tolerable, and as always, Crispin gives a grand performance, as if his life almost depended on it. This poorly made release, though terrible in a handful of ways, is watchable for the fact that it is meant to be what it turns out to accomplish. The gore is nonstop when this psycho comes to play his deadly game: everybody’s childhood favorite, Simon Says. Simon/Stanley follows the group to the woods, where along the way, he hacks paint ball players and other campers with his devices made out of pick axes. But the killer manages to express his multiple personalities to the fullest, and he has his eerie little eyes set on the lead, Kate. It’s obvious that one of the twins are not alive, as the two never appear in the same room together at the same time. At the gas station, in the present day, the group of five meet Stanley and Simon (both played by Glover), who act creepy in their own different ways.

The survivor later went on to kill his mother and father. Years ago, teenage twins Stanley and Simon (played by Chad and Chris Cunningham) got into a fight, resulting in the death of one of them. However, they did not anticipate the legend that curses the place.

Kate (Margo Harshman) and her boyfriend Riff (Artie Baxter), along with stoner Zack (Greg Cipes), Vicky (Carrie Finklea) and Ashley (Kelly Vitz) go off into the woods to camp out.
